MAjor sucky day!!
Ray went out partying even though I had strongly objected it cos now i have one less saturday wif him.
Well to him, its hey, its a great party wif great deejays, i needed to have fun n destress, n its free so yeah hell ill go!
But hier, im feeling, geez its taking time away frm us, not as if we have alot alreadi, everyday of 1/2hr n wkends of 4-5hrs & im alreadi saying its not enuff cos of the long distance but yet it doesnt' seem to bother him alot. He jus keeps saying, well u still have most of sat/sun so why can't i jus take one out?
Well yeah technically it sounds tat I'm so unreasonable but reality is, at this moment, I am going thru such a phase of depression, worrying abt the move, if it will be approved in the first place, n if it does, will I be able to cope wif changes n nederlands leren. I have to be accessed every half yearly/yearly n if i don seem to intergrate well, i may get kicked back home. The pressure that u have to perform jus so u cld stay wif ur love one is demanding!
And his pay seems not enuff for both of us, him having to pay mortage, bills & his study loan etc, we wont have enuff to save up even, and lest talk abt having a wedding & kids, how can we manage???
Am i damn suay or wat, to end up wif men who are not the regular pay working men who have savings & car & house!
N if he looses his contact? he doesnt have savings also, what I have wont be keeping us afloat too long.
Shld I go thru all these Lord?? I felt that you have left me... I wont blame you cos I'm not worthy as I have sinned against you, going against what I shld have done.. but I beg U have mercy & keep watch over me & my loved ones even thru all these Lord, according to your mercy & faithfulness cos I am unworthy for ur blessings. Yet i know wifout U, my life will b cursed, and if it is, Lord, let me b the one cursed & spare my loved ones. Pls Lord Pls!
Well Lord pls show me if I shld go forth with moving cos I am havin my reservations now
Ray went out partying even though I had strongly objected it cos now i have one less saturday wif him.
Well to him, its hey, its a great party wif great deejays, i needed to have fun n destress, n its free so yeah hell ill go!
But hier, im feeling, geez its taking time away frm us, not as if we have alot alreadi, everyday of 1/2hr n wkends of 4-5hrs & im alreadi saying its not enuff cos of the long distance but yet it doesnt' seem to bother him alot. He jus keeps saying, well u still have most of sat/sun so why can't i jus take one out?
Well yeah technically it sounds tat I'm so unreasonable but reality is, at this moment, I am going thru such a phase of depression, worrying abt the move, if it will be approved in the first place, n if it does, will I be able to cope wif changes n nederlands leren. I have to be accessed every half yearly/yearly n if i don seem to intergrate well, i may get kicked back home. The pressure that u have to perform jus so u cld stay wif ur love one is demanding!
And his pay seems not enuff for both of us, him having to pay mortage, bills & his study loan etc, we wont have enuff to save up even, and lest talk abt having a wedding & kids, how can we manage???
Am i damn suay or wat, to end up wif men who are not the regular pay working men who have savings & car & house!
N if he looses his contact? he doesnt have savings also, what I have wont be keeping us afloat too long.
Shld I go thru all these Lord?? I felt that you have left me... I wont blame you cos I'm not worthy as I have sinned against you, going against what I shld have done.. but I beg U have mercy & keep watch over me & my loved ones even thru all these Lord, according to your mercy & faithfulness cos I am unworthy for ur blessings. Yet i know wifout U, my life will b cursed, and if it is, Lord, let me b the one cursed & spare my loved ones. Pls Lord Pls!
Well Lord pls show me if I shld go forth with moving cos I am havin my reservations now